


Help

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Wow everyone lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:59:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2062014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If pride wasn't one of the most prominent traits of Ciel's personality, he might admit that he might need to go to a behavioural class. He also might admit that he liked the guy running it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically it's a modern!au where demons don't exist and everyone lives, and Sebastian runs classes in his spare time for troubled teens.

Ciel could see it in his mother's eyes, the sadness of giving up, and then the anger that shed from it like the fury had been caged. 

"That is it." Her word was final, and from the disheartened look his father gave him, he could tell her word was gospel. 

"You are going to those classes."

\-------------------

It hadn't even been a big deal, his mother was overdramatising it so that she could give an excuse to go and be social with others his age. 

Had it ever occurred to them that the reason he inflicted a solitary lifestyle upon himself was because he didn't want to be social? 

Forcing him to be around people for too long, especially thick people, grated on his patience. 

So there he sat; sulking in his mother's car, willing to sacrifice his soul if it meant not going to the classes. 

He gazed out of the window solemnly, gaining an A+ melodramatic atmosphere.

He reasoned that his mother must be batshit insane to think that some pushy, smily probably middle aged person trying to get him to express his feelings is going to work.

No thank you, admitting his feelings to himself is hard enough, but to an audience, well the guy running these sessions must be as mental as his mother. 

His dark, brooding monologue halted as his mother pulled into the car park of the town hall. Fuck his life, he would spare a limb to keep him absent from these things. He could tell something bad is going to happen, it feels like something is looming on his conscience. 

He stumbled out of the car, add his lack of balance to the list of things that he hates about himself as well as his height. Even in his simple outfit of jeans and a shirt he feels inadequate because as soon as you step in it is like a fucking gay pride parade just happened with all the different colours searing his eyes. 

The group isn't too small, maybe of five or six excluding Ciel. 

The leader was obvious to spot, towering above everyone in looks and height. Ciel estimated him to be around 20-21 years old. 

The leader of the group turned in his squeaky, sunshine yellow plastic chair to beckon Ciel over with a warm smile. Ciel didn't buy it but he still sauntered over with his mother's gaze searing his back.

"Hi, welcome, my name's Sebastian and you must be Ciel." 

Sebastian extended a pale, elegant hand between them, and hesitantly with the help of his mother's pressuring glare, Ciel shook his hand.

He even faked a smile, as half hearted as it was. Sebastian offered Ciel a chair next to some red haired girl with glasses. He didn't bother to hide his bitter mood as he sat down and turned to look at everyone. 

Sebastian began to introduce Ciel, and gestured for everyone to introduce themselves in turn. Next to Sebastian was a blond, scrawny boy with a beaming smile too big for his face: "Finny, nice to meet 'ya."

Then a g- wait was that a boy or a girl? Either way, their mannerisms were totally feminine but the jawline said otherwise. 

"I'm Gre-"

Ciel kind of zoned out after that. 

Noticing his mother lurking at the entrance to the hall, he turned to shoot an accusing stare at her, and at this she turned and left like she had just been caught doing something illegal. Ciel huffed. He focused back in on the conversation only to get Sebastian's welcome.

The smile he wore didn't seem to fit, but it didn't seem forced either. 

"Welcome, I'm sure we'll all get along just fine."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written a sebby/ciel fic before so it is probably kind of bad. Anyways comments and feedback are really appreciated :) Hope it's okay.

"How was it?"

Ciel's frown deepened to form a Mariana's Trench copy, before he replied:

"Well, you were practically there the whole time so shouldn't you know?" 

His mother let rip her fierce expression reserved only for Ciel's shitty behaviour (which is pretty much all the time anyway). Ciel surrendered with a sulky expression aimed at the floor. 

"You know what I mean, after I left."

Trying to shrug casually, Ciel mumbled like it wasn't the most horrendous experience of his life. "Yeah, just talked about the causes of anger and finding inner peace and stuff." He had intensified the hippie vibe of the meeting, but he wasn't really listening anyway. 

"I'm glad you thought it was okay."

Ciel noticed how that shit eating grin took up residence on his mother's face. It wasn't unusual for her to smile, but to use _that_ smile was. 

"What is it?" He asked. His mother faked innocence. 

"Sorry dear, I don't understand."

"You know, why you are smiling like that?"

She turned to face him from where she had had her eyes glued to the roads they were zipping through, his mother was an erratic driver. 

"Don't you think Sebastian is so lovely running a free support group for teenagers? He must be so busy what with his university course but he still carves out time to help others."

Ciel grumbled, his mother had a point, but sitting a few seats away from Sebastian he couldn't help but feel that there was something odd and not right about him. 

"What university course is he doing?" Ciel questioned, suddenly unsure if Sebastian was even trustworthy enough to be in a support group with him as the leader. 

"Psychology."

Of course, now the whole 'start-a-support-group-from-the-goodness-of-my-soul' made sense, he was just doing it for extra credit. 

His mother inquired: "You never answered my question, what do you think of him?"

'The truth is important, right?' Ciel reasoned with himself. 

"Kind of odd, almost creepy."

Ciel stared out of the window to avoid the hint of disapproval in his mother's features. Just because she thought he was a babe doesn't mean he has to think Sebastian is a babe.

Sebastian was something that Ciel hadn't totally figured out yet. Something about him screamed 'dangerously attractive' and his smile wasn't kind or sweet, it was almost revelling as he heard the sins of others.

Greed, anger, stealing from a shitty convenience store down the road, nearly molesting a gym teacher. 

Whatever it was, it seemed to please him, only he disguised his amusement as kindness and sympathy. 

He gave bloody good advice though, that was something Ciel couldn't find a fault about him; and maybe his attractiveness. Ciel wasn't exactly the straightest of people, nor was he the most likeable. Which wasn't that bad considering he hated people in general. He liked individuals, as sparse as his 'people I like' group was, but overall he steered clear of the human race. 

His parents, he liked (apart from on some occasions).  
His dog (dead and missed), he liked.  
Tanaka, he liked (mainly because he caught Ciel watching gay porn and didn't tell his parents).

Well, that was about it. Apart from Lizzie, who he loved like a sister deep down but also wanted to avoid at all costs.

"You honestly like him?" Ciel asked her, raising a sincere eyebrow. 

"He just seems very charming, dear, and you'll be in these classes for as long as it takes, so you might as well start letting Sebastian help you."

Ugh, Ciel couldn't deal with the fact that his mum probably has a liking for Sebastian, he'd start heaving if he thought about it too much. 

Ciel attempted to veil his amusement at the second meaning of the last part of the sentence.

He just mumbled a dejected 'fine' before solemnly resuming his activity of ordering the CD's in his mum's car. 

\----------

The red spewing from her nose cloaked his bag, and Ciel really did try to act forgiving as he did feel kind of bad for her. 

That girl next to him, Meyrin maybe?

Ciel's ponders if she doesn't have iron definiency or something as he offers her tissues for what seemed like the her twelfth nosebleed of the session. He did feel bad for her a bit, afterall it was a blatant sign of her attraction to Sebastian, and Ciel knew this because he was the only one in the room that was attractive enough to make her nose become a volcano of blood. 

At least the embarrassment was on her and not him. It was probably somehing to do with how Sebastian's hair was still partly wet and swept back that week. That image had Ciel believeing that a God must exist in order for something like that to occur.

Meyrin's unpredictable nosebleeds made Ciel keep his guard up and his usually wandering mind placed firmly into what was happening in the hall. 

Sebastian had just finished talking and motioned for someone to go first, for whatever it was. 

"If you truly are against sharing your feelings, do not feel pressured into doing it, you don't have to." Sebastian reminded the teens, before his eyes went exploring for a raised hand.

Apart from, there were none.

Ciel faintly remembered his mother's friend visit them around two years ago, he was a teacher but just starting out. It was the only thing that Ciel can remember from the meeting but he said:

"The absolute worst thing is when you ask the class a question and no one answers. It's terrifying, not to mention embarrassing. If you have happen to one of your teachers, Ciel, have mercy on them and put your hand up if you know the answer."

Before Ciel could register, his hand had risen in the air of it's own accord. Fuck, he didn't even know what to say.

Sebastian beamed that unsettling smile, and waited for Ciel to speak. Ciel decided to deny all knowledge.

"Oh, er, I forgot what I was going to say, sorry."

It went smoothly, Ciel had exceeded himself. 

"That's fine."

Sebastian sent him a charming, almost mocking smile before continuing to the brave souls who had seen Ciel as encouragement and raised their hands. It was Finny, who began to ramble about killing his neighbours pet budgie and then blaming it on them. 

Even after the look Sebastian gave him had ended Ciel's cheeks were still aflame. The look had hinted that Sebastian could see right through his forgetful act and knew that he had no idea.

His gaze met the floor, trying to regain his ice cold bitchy aura.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know no one really cares about Author's notes, but I'm starting my important exams at the end of this year so I will either write lots due to procrastination and escapism or I will barely write at all and get shit done. Just a warning.

The fates must have some grudge against Ciel, because much to his discomfort his mother's liking to Sebastian grows. Monumentally. It's unnecessarily embarrassing, especially after the third meeting when she decided to chat to him for about 27324 years (10 minutes) and that is why Ciel is where he is now. In his mother's car, alone and unwilling to make any kind of social interaction that isn't being at the meeting. 

It isn't his fault. Something about Sebastian creeps him out to no end, Ciel just hasn't figured that out yet. 

He almost loses control of his bowels when his mum opens the car door out of surprise, attaching a hand to he skin above his wildly beating heart in a way that made his mother scold him and remark that he was being far too dramatic. "You should have stayed, it was rather rude to walk off. Sebastian isn't that bad, dear."

Ciel just nodded and grumbled a deflated 'fine' like he always does. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

As it turns out, his mum had forgotten to mention something important to Ciel. So the next day he wandered down the stairs to the kitchen just before lunch to get some orange juice, blissfully unaware and clad only in underwear and a baggy t shirt. It was only when he passed back through the hall that he saw his dad sitting with someone. He back tracked a few paces, expecting his Aunt An or maybe even his Uncle Klaus.

What he did not expect, is to see Sebastian in his fucking house, leisurely chatting away with his dad. He squawks as he is soon reminded of his almost nakedness, and makes a runner for the stairs at a pace that Usain Bolt would be jealous of. Sebastian and his father only notice a flash of pale skin zoom from the doorway. 

"Ciel? Come down and say hello to Sebastian." Although his father's voice is gentle, he still clicks his tongue and sends Sebastian an apologetic look which says 'haha kids these days, right?' after Ciel doesn't respond. Sebastian insists that he doesn't mind. 

When Ciel is dressed in an appropriate amount of clothing, he does the walk of shame down the stairs. Accepting his fate of facing Sebastian's amused smirk that makes him want to punch him and kiss him simultaneously; he stumbles into the dining room shyly. 

"Er, hi." Ciel feels that he might as well be twiddling his thumbs, because it is definitely one of those situations. 

His father makes a remark about how nice it is to see him out of his room for once, his gains a livid glare from Ciel and a mildly disapproving one from Sebastian. That makes Ciel like him slightly more, his dad was a showoff after all. 

They all gathered round the table, after Ciel and his mum had brought in all of the lunch from the kitchen. ("Isn't he a sweetheart?" His mum had remarked after Sebastian had offered to take food into the dining room. Ciel tried to act like he wasn't totally weirded out by the situation.)

So about fifty million things were wrong with that day, and many of those occurred at lunch.

First off, he had pretty much walked past Sebastian in his underwear twice. He cringed just thinking about it.  
Secondly, his mother made his sit opposite Sebastian and his fucking ridiculously long legs. Also that meant he made eye contact with Sebastian way too many times for his liking. 

 

Sebastian seemed to be enjoying himself though. The utter dork was talking about his university course, smiling like he had just won a nobel prize and it made his eyes form crescents that Ciel thought were weird (and cute). 

Ciel ripped his attention away from his face and anywhere but there. His gaze landed on Sebastian's hands. He nearly choked. 

Yaoi hands. Fucking long hands that were perplexingly big but thin and looked like they were straight out of a BL novel. Ciel had had a sheltered upbringing, but not that sheltered. 

This brought Ciel's attention back to his cramped legs under the table, because Sebastian's fucking yaoi limbs were invading his personal space.

At this point, Ciel was convinced that Sebastian was a BL character that had made it from the realm of yaoi into the real world with real people and bodies with proportional limbs attached. 

Ciel spent the rest of dinner staring at his plate in shame. He had vowed to forget his manga obsession of a few months ago, and now the memories were flooding back. Ciel excused himself after pudding with a brief goodbye to Sebastian before sprinting up the stairs and being greeted by the haven that was his room once more.

\----------------------------

The next meeting Ciel is greeted with an empty hall, well apart from Sebastian sitting in solitude with a notebook on his lap.

"I'll admit, I thought you weren't going to turn up, Ciel." Sebastian doesn't look up from his notebook, and doesn't sound insulted in the slightest. 

"Uh, yeah sorry about being late."

This time Sebastian looks up and beams at him, "Better late than never."

Ciel perches on the chair that Sebastian motions him to sit on.

"Sebastian?"  
"Yes?"  
"Why is no one here?"  
"Finny had a doctor's appointment, Meyrin and Grelle had a school trip to Italy, and others didn't give excuses. It's just coincidental that they should all have to be occupied on this one week. Now, then, should we get started?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't got any shit done but the homework I have received has kept me busy as well as my kpop obsession. I also might write a Do Kyungsoo/Kim Jongin oneshot in the near future *wink wink*.

With much cajoling, Ciel's mother had Ciel recite the last meeting to her in impressive detail. Ciel just wanted to forget. 

"Okay, so he said that everyone had some other place to be and so it was just us two." His mum's hands started to flail as she became incapable of containing her excitement. Ciel was sure she was whipped. 

"Then he said if I had became very angry in the past few weeks and I said that I had. Then I just explained the situations and stuff."

"And what advice did he give you?" His mother prompted. Her wide eyed expression dipped in awe was starting to scare Ciel. He sighed.

This was going to be a long conversation. 

\------------------------

The ceiling was dark. The walls were a thick black that veiled everything in nothingness to the human eye. There were no light sources; Ciel was starting to wonder if he was going insane.

Thinking was dearth in the timeless void of night. He had woken abruptly in possession of nothing but a disturbed mind, overpowering guilt and the sense that his dream had been too close to the truth for his liking.

Sebastian was gradually becoming his one way ticket to damnation. He swept back the covers. His sweat had them glued to his skin and it felt as disgusting as when he had done exercise that one time. 

Sebastian had always seemed so gentlemanly but in his dream Sebastian was anything but. His elegant authority remained but that was all, he was ravenous, chaotic and the way you would think the devil to be. 

Ciel was just avoiding what he could remember of the dream. Instead he opted for staring into the black and taking everything in. 

God, he was so screwed.


	5. Chapter 5

Courtesy was a thing that Ciel saw once in a blue moon. No on could blame him, after being raised in the selfish environment of the upper class and going to a school full of chavs who will slice you into pieces if you don't watch your back. Sometimes he wonders why the fuck his parents sent him to a public school when they could easily afford private education ("to not keep you wrapped up in a bubble because of our wealth," His mother had once told him). They had more money than sense.

He went to a Comprehensive school. The only problem was that it was the best Comprehensive school in the area and so people were either from the deepest realms of the ghetto or from the darkest parts of the computer science club. 

So when he offered Sebastian a sweet at the end of one of the sessions he even surprised himself. Sebastian took one and ate it with his gaze fusing into Ciel's own. It was an odd look. One that said: "I trust you," as well as saying "I like takin your sources of happiness away from you," at the same time. 

Everybody had filed out minutes before; Ciel could see his mum peeking through the glass window on the door. 

"Thank you," Sebastian said sweetly, chewing as his eyes made crescents.

"You're becoming more open." Sebastian stated, once he had finished eating his sweet. Ciel nodded awkwardly.

Ciel's mum's face was becoming closer and closer to the glass; eyes fixed on Sebatian. He noticed.

"I think your mum is waiting for you." Sebastian chuckled. As amusing as it was, it also caused Ciel deep embarrassment. 

"Yeah, er, sorry about that." Ciel's sheepishness shone through, making Sebastian bid a farewell.

"I look forward to seeing you again, Ciel."

Ciel waved back to Sebastian as he went to join his mum on the other side of the door. Sebastian beamed back at him like he'd just enjoyed the partially alone time they had just had. His mum backed away from the door a few paces as he opened it.

"God, do you have to be so embarrassing?"

\---------------------------

Ciel was late for business studies; again. His whole motivation for the subject had long ceased to exist and so he got by with his natural smarts and the incapability of his Business teacher. He passed the hall on the way to his first period. He noticed that the Year 7 assembly had overran a bit, they were all still seated quietly, like a swarm of munchkins. With horrendously sized backpacks. Clasped in their hands were pocket sized, red books. Ciel recognised them instantly.

It is a normal occurrence for some God crazed religious people to visit their school and shove their bibles into the unsuspecting hands of Year 7s. His school wasn't particularly religious either. Why they invited these people; he had no idea.

It was the raven black hair and elegant face which made Ciel backtrack a few steps to peer back through the hall doors. 

Yep, it was Sebastian.

Ciel decided to continue walking, determined that he didn't want to know why Sebastian was handing out bibles with a bunch of older folk.

The thought of Sebastian pretending to be all 'holier than thou' made unease churn in his stomach. 

He quietly continued to his class, making a few mental notes on the way.

\-----------------

Ciel's temper (or what little he had of one) was really being tested as of late. Sebastian's stupid face and yaoi limbs were steadily becoming something he was seeing more and more often. 

Ciel didn't like it one bit.

Handing out bibles to year 7: He was there.  
In his dreams: He was there.  
Walking down to Tescos to get a packet of Haribo: He was there.  
Waltzing into his kitchen after school: He was there.

His mother was the peacekeeper when Ciel had spotted that all too familiar black hair, conveniently placing herself between them. As subtle as the gesture was, Ciel sure as hell noticed. 

Ciel returned the polite smile that Sebastian gave him.

"Ciel, it's nice to see you again." 

Ciel just nodded; not replying was becoming a common occurrence for his incredibly one-sided conversations with Sebastian.

"Ciel, why don't you sit down, dear?" She handed him a mug of tea, much like the one in Sebastian hands. 

Ciel did as he was told, and sat on the stall next to Sebastian. Needless to say, he was very uncomfortable.

Sebastian and his mother continued their conversation, mainly useless chatter. Ciel tried not to look too pissed when his mother looked at Sebastian like an adoring fan. 

Ciel realised why he hated Sebastian so much: He hated that he liked to see him.

He stared intensely at the kitchen cupboard, his brain working hard to process that simple piece of information.

Fuck. He was in deep shit now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see :) I actually got shit done for my exams although I am almost certain I have failed my English literature exam :( I still have ten exams left but I have a week off so this method of procrastination will suffice ^^ Lol have a nice life you cuties!

'I should really be completing my maths homework. Maths. Help. Help group. Sebastian.'

Fuck. 

'I wonder if I can get a new dog. Preferably black. Black fur. Black hair. Sebastian.'

His eyes swam in tears. This can't be how his cold, bitter demeanour breaks. Crumbles under the weight of his feelings for Sebastian.

It's beyond embarrassing; his ice cold dickbag demeanour is something he has also been fond of. A quality that he rather liked. 

'Alas I am being reduced to nothing more than a sad, uke protagonist of a sad yaoi manga. What am I without myself cold, juvenile character?'

His thoughts continue in a downward spiral of despair, desperation and rainbows (accompanied by a fit looking Sebastian with his bangs scraped back). He prays to God. 

His legs hang off the bed, hugging his pillow to his chest. He has quickly become impatient with laying in his own self pity. He accepts his pending doom. His grip on the pillow tightens. 

'I have a crush on Sebastian', he thinks, sighing as the pressure rushed out of his body along with his breath. A little voice in the back of his whines: 'and I have such awful taste in men.' 

Ciel sweeps that thought under the metaphorical rug to be discovered another day. 

It's a Saturday. Three o'clock in the afternoon. He should be doing something productive. Like homework; cleaning his room; Sebastian (he always seemed to get his psychology essays done on time) or talking to his parents to stop his feelings from bottling up. 

He picks the most appealing item on that list. Sebastian, of course. He just doesn't know how to go about dating him. It's rather problematic considering he hasn't shown any hint of liking Sebastian in public, meaning Sebastian (if he ever requited these feelings) wouldn't because he wasn't giving any signs. 

Ciel stays silent and motionless as he formulates a plan.

\--------------------------------------------

The door to the hall creaks loudly. Ciel admits defeat at his planned quiet entrance. He's late. Very late. Very late meaning twenty minutes late because he looked himself in the bathroom fussing over his hair until his mum threatened to break the door of its hinges. 

The whole of he group, including Sebastian, smile at him. Ciel grimaces. 

"Nice of you to join us, take a seat." 

Not having to be told twice, Ciel charges to the spare chair to the left of Meyrin in such a haste he stumbles over his own feet. Like an overly excited puppy. An overly excited, obedient puppy. 

God, he was whipped. 

\--------------------------------

Since he possesses enough brain cells, Ciel is not an idiot. He knows he can't carry out his well-researched plan in the support group. It would be a mistake not even a socially inept idiot would make (hopefully). 

After watching videos until the early hours of the morning he knew some things he needed for his plan to get Sebastian wrapped around his little finger. One of these being physical contact, which was difficult from two metres away. Another being privacy between them two, something he wasn't going to acquire in the sessions. 

He decided that after the session would do, just a minute or two. Just enough time. 

As a result, he spent the whole session trying not to shake. His foot tapped subconsciously, the anxiety seeping through the cracks in his indifferent demeanour. He stopped himself repeatedly. He would catch himself and the rhythmic tapping would cease; only to start minutes later as he was distracted by something that Sebastian was saying or the way that Finny was irritatingly grinding his teeth. 

His patience was worn thin by the end of the session. He almost bolted out of his seat. This isn't how he imagined it to happen. 

Ciel took time to fiddle with his coat before 'leaving'. He even checked his pockets for some non existant item he must not forget. His eyes drifted upwards momentarily and upon seeing no one else in the hall apart from himself and Sebastian, he put his plan into action.

Ciel subtley slid closer to Sebastian. He started off with a nonchalant: 'Thanks for the support, the session was good this week.' His hand, jerking from the nerves, raised up and rested on Sebastian bicep lightly. The world didn't end: Sebastian didn't swat away his hand, he didn't yell murder, nor did the universe implode on the contact of cirl's hand and Sebastian's arm. In fact, Sebastian's smile was warm. Really warm, like sizzling Ciel's heart warm. 

The contact ended, Ciel reining himself in to act out the last stage of his plan. "Thank you, Ciel." Upon the reply Ciel wavered closer, right to the boundary that marked out how close was appropriate. 

"Your welcome," He said through an almost dreamy smile, "I'll see you next week." Then he was off, limiting his time of 'Little personal space with Sebastian' to just over two seconds before heading for the exit. 

As he was halfway through the door he turned to spare a glance at Sebastian, and was able to catch the smiley face and adoring 'Goodbye' of his crush. He waved on the way out. 

He almost flew into his mum's car; his cheeks hurt from his wide grin.

"Well, someone's happy today." His mum didn't enquire any fur ther.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I'm sorry I fell off the face of the earth for ages but this is going to be one of the last chapters I am going to write for this fic. I'm bored with it and I'm out of touch with the fandom so I have no idea how well I am writing this and how accurate it is. Don't expect any kind of sebaciel interaction above a kiss, sorry :(
> 
> This is going to be the last chapter and the next one will be an epilogue.

Ciel's heart doesn't decrease in pace. It's been keeping him awake for hours. The thumping is audible when he puts his head on the pillow and it's driving him insane. 

It was been thrumming wildly since he touched sebastian's bicep this morning. Now its midnight and it shows no signs of calming. 

It was only an innocent touch and yet it is worse than a kiss. It reminds him of what could have, and can happen and it also fails to dampen his longing for him. It was not enough. 

Ciel decides that after two hours of dodgy, light sleeping and a whole load of restless hours that this needs to end. His crush is not ideal but Ciel has never been ideal so he supposes that it can't be helped. It's not like they will be doing anything horrendous, right? Dating can hardly be counted as horrendous. 

It is, in the darkness of his room, that he finally convinces himself that he doesn't want this to just end in some pinning and a little voice that will nag at him when he's alone. 

He's going to kiss Sebastian. 

\-------------------------------

It's the last session of Sebastian's classes before a four week break, mainly a break for Sebastian. It's almost perfect timing, Ciel decides. If it fucks up, it will be four weeks before being forced to see him again. 

Absolutely perfect. 

It's nearing the end of the lesson and Ciel is somehow nowhere near nervous. He's calm, his heart remaining steady and his hands lying placidly in his lap. No anxious fiddling hands, no sweating or blushing. 

He's hasn't got a plan. He's just going to say his feelings and hopes it all works out. Sebastian has always liked him; it's a question of how he has liked him. Ciel is pretty sure it's in a platonic way but if kissing him and being rejected is the only way he can get rid of his awful crush then he is prepared to do it. 

The last five minutes is like torture, only less painful because he knows that after this session he can get back on track with being an ice-cold bitch that doesn't get sappy over anything with black hair. The other people prepare to leave, all standing and rooting around for bags and phones, and Ciel does too. Only he pretends to. Very slowly. Apparently it takes thirty seconds to look around for his phone in his bag, although he knows it's in the front pocket. 

He glances upwards; he is one of the only people left. Sebastian also looks in a good mood, which is essential in his parents not being contacted over Ciel's strange choice in men. With the grace of a rusty knee cap, he bends down to pick up a piece of paper he has 'accidently' dropped. Apparently picking up an old shopping list from the floor takes a while. 

He glances casually around, he is the last person left. The swinging door to the hall tells him that he hasn't been fumbling around for a while because that would be embarrassing. 

He straightens up, has a two second pep talk in the time it takes to walk over to where Sebastian is still sitting in his seat, a folder balanced on one knee (Ciel swears he was not gazing at his crotch), and Ciel blanks. He doesn't say anything. Seconds have passed before he can force out the words. 

He sounds shy. He hates it. 

"Um, I just wanted to say thank you, for, you know... putting up with me even though I was a little shit in the beginning." Sebastian, although paying attention, perks up even more when Ciel swears. A smile curves his lips upwards. 

"That's alright, Ciel, you are much better now. Although I wouldn't have used your choice of wording to describe you at the beginning." He seems amused by Ciel, and it makes him stutter.

"A-also..." Ciel stops speaking. He doesn't know how to put it into words. Instead he takes a step forward and bends down (although it's not far) to peck Sebastian's lips. Well it end's up being more the corner of his lips because Ciel doesn't realise how off his aim is when his eyes are closing and his heart is bursting out of his ribcage like a feral beast. 

The kiss is short and sweet and Ciel can't gauge Sebastian's reaction from it since it ends as soon as it begins. Ciel's cheeks flood with red and even thought the kiss is short it makes his heart flutter. Ciel hopes that Sebastian feels as great right now as he does. 

Ciel pulls back slightly but he can still feel like warmth of Sebastian's breath when he opens his mouth to speak again.

"Thank you."

Sebastian beams and pets his shoulder and Ciel doesn't even know what he is being thankful about but the way Sebastian looks at him makes him feel forever indebted to whatever god exists for letting his happen. 

Sebastian pulls him in for another chaste peck and Ciel never wants to stop.


End file.
